the pitfalls of questioning.

This message was shared by a friend of mine earlier today… and needless to say it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown.

I was sitting in my kitchen, laptop on, notebook open, pen in hand. I was planning on spending the afternoon creating content and working on my FUEL plans.

As I sat there… that is literally all I did. I just sat. Blankly staring at my computer screen and notebook. Trying SO HARD to find the creative inspiration to work on the program my coach and I have been discussing for weeks.

I sat there for a good two hours. Trying to force myself to write something…anything down on my paper.

Out of nowhere, a flood of emotions came over me. I burst into tears. I was SO frustrated with the fact that I literally could think of NOTHING worth ANYTHING to keep the momentum going with my plans.

As driven and motivated as I am, I find that I easily get discouraged.

I feel like I am constantly in a state of QUESTIONING the logistics of HOW to manage everything, WHEN and HOW I am going to find time to be creative, and WHY would people really want to work with me?? I beat myself up for not feeling creative, and for not utilizing the very little free time I DO have to get shit done. That, in turn, slows me down, gets me upset, and ends up derailing my WHOLE day…it is exhausting.

BUT, then I step away, take a deep breath, and I think about my message… my story…my INTENTIONS for WHY I want to do this work. I know my message is meant to be shared. I know my story WILL help people. I know I cannot ignore my calling to HELP as many people as I can.

That feeling alone is liberating. That feeling is what WILL keep me motivated to keep working my ass off.

So my lesson from yesterday, is just allow things to happen without always having to know the answers. Always be patient with yourself, and show youself LOVE when things arent going as expected. Remember your "WHY" and keep the end goal in mind and things will fall into place EXACTLY as they are meant to.