I guess a person should never be ashamed to admit a weakness. A weakness they have been battling for long enough. A weakness they have been trying to mask behind a smile, a sense of humor, a compassionate heart. As hard as they try to push this weakness away, push it out of their life forever, it is there. In every smile, in every laugh, in every kind word or gesture. At every meal, at every party, throughout the work day...
This weakness likes to take joy out of life's simple pleasures. It enjoys bringing feelings of guilt, of anger, of resentment. This weakness likes to be a part of relationships… with family, friends, significant others, and oneself. (This weakness sounds like an asshole- whoa comic relief!)
This weakness has been around for too long. An eight year roller coaster ride... ups and downs... not working for me anymore. I am done being in denial, I am done disappointing myself, I am done worrying my loved ones and others who care about me and I am done with all the other associated bullshit I don't feel like listing...DONE DONE FUC*ING DONE!
I have hit a point where I need to do something for ME so I can live MY life… MY life, the way it was intended to be lived...without this uninvited weakness.
PS. Sorry- I was feeling a variety of emotions when I wrote this post :-P But if you subscribe to my blog (first off, thank you!!!) you know me well enough to know I am random and unfiltered when I want to be.